Who you become in relationships matters alongside what you feel for the other person. A thought during a flight became a question about the version of myself I like being with someone.
Who you become in relationships: a question from a flight
The question is not if I love you. There is no doubt about that. I do. I love you. The question is if I love myself – the one I become – when I’m with you.
VA – 27.08.2022
A realisation I had while flying from Pristina to Zurich:
It’s not about the other person. It’s not about if you like the other person or not. It matters, but it also doesn’t matter if you love the other person and how much you love the other person.
You can like them. You can love them.
But the real question is: Do you love the person you become when with them? Do you love yourself, that version of yourself, when you are with that person?
That’s the decision maker. That’s what is the benchmark wether you want to be with someone: Do you like who you become with that person? Yes or No?
Now you know.
Related reading and sources: my view of growth and connection
