“I understand that this hurts.” “You need to stop doing this.” I can mean both. Caring about someone does not require agreeing with the decision that is hurting them—or someone else.
“I understand that this hurts” and “you need to stop doing this” can both be true. One statement acknowledges the feeling. The other addresses a choice. Confusing them makes an honest conversation harder.
This is not permission to humiliate someone in the name of honesty. Be specific about the behaviour, leave room for what you do not know and avoid turning one account of events into a verdict on a person’s entire character.
When someone comes to us in distress, their perspective is naturally the one we hear first. Before offering encouragement, ask what the proposed next step would mean for the other people involved. Would it respect an expressed boundary? Would it deepen a situation that is already causing harm?
My position in the source post is direct: empathy should not require sacrificing the truth. In practice, that means acknowledging the hurt, naming the responsibility and helping the person identify a different next step. Comfort matters. So does refusing to cheer on a decision simply because the person making it is in pain.