Does this make sense to you:

The more you hate something in someone else, the more you rejected that same trait within yourself long ago. And: The more you love something in someone else, the more you rejected it in yourself long ago.

This first one is easy and straightforward:

The more you hate something in someone else, the more you rejected that same trait within yourself long ago: It means the part of you that you have suppressed (rejected), you learned to hate it, you were conditioned (most likely by your parents/teachers). And now you see that same part in someone else, maybe you even said to someone who was pointing out that part in you “You are just projecting, that’s not me! That’s you!” – but actually most likely it’s you, it’s you and them. Both.

So, if something in someone triggers you a lot, and you hate it, chances are very high that you’ve rejected that part within yourself.

So, use the triggers to learn about yourself, to meditate, to go into that feeling (no matter how much it hurts) and integrate it.

Now the less obvious one: The more you love something in someone else, the more you rejected it in yourself long ago.

You have a box inside you where you put parts of yourself that you thought weren’t okay to show. You actually loved these parts of yourself, but you were told to not love them any longer. Maybe when you were little, someone said, “Don’t be so silly” – so you put your fun, silly side in the box and locked it away.

You never stopped actually loving it, but you were told to put it away. So you followed the orders to be accepted.

Now, when you see someone else being super fun and silly, you love it! It feels exciting because it’s reminding you of that part of yourself — “the silly you” — that you hid a long time ago. You love it in them because deep down, it’s a part of you that’s been locked away, waiting to come out again.

So you may ask yourself “So I loved that side always, but just put it away because I was told so? I actually never hated that part, but still rejected it?”

Yes, that’s correct. You never hated that part of yourself — deep down you always loved it.

But when the person you were depending on told you it wasn’t okay to be like that, you felt like you had to hide it to fit in or be accepted.

It’s like putting your favorite toy in a box because someone said, “You’re too old for that.”

You didn’t stop loving the toy — you just put it away because you thought you weren’t “allowed” to play with it anymore.

It’s time to get your toys back.
It’s time to get your joy back.
It’s time to get yourself back.