I do not recommend casual sex. In the caption of this video, I explain why intimacy means more to me than physical contact. I connect it with love, trust and a spiritual sense of closeness.
When I talk about “energy”, I am expressing that spiritual perspective. It is how I describe the significance of letting someone close, rather than a medical explanation of how trauma works. The practical question behind it is simple: who do you want to share this part of your life with?
Be honest about what you want
If you want affection, commitment or a serious relationship, give that desire room in the conversation. Hoping that physical closeness will quietly create the relationship you want leaves an important question unanswered.
Ask the other person what they want, too. Their answer may be different. Knowing that difference lets both of you make a clearer choice.
Let your boundaries mean something
A boundary can be about pace, privacy or the kind of relationship you are willing to enter. You can want closeness and still need more time. You can like someone and recognise that your expectations do not fit.
There is a useful pause before a decision: am I choosing this because I want it, or because I am afraid of losing the person’s attention? Take that question seriously. Give yourself permission to say what feels right and what does not.
For me, being careful with intimacy is part of respecting myself. Your choices should reflect your own values, with honesty and mutual consent. Closeness deserves that much attention.