Personal growth

Being afraid does not have to make the decision for you

Valon Asani · · 2 min read

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Facing fear can start with a considered step, rather than a demand to accept every risk.

A challenge feels too big. You want to do something, but the discomfort arrives before the first attempt. In this post, I tell you to face the fear and do it anyway.

I want that encouragement to lead to a considered step. There is a difference between the discomfort of trying something unfamiliar and a risk you have good reason not to take. Courage does not require accepting every challenge somebody puts in front of you.

Make facing fear specific enough to prepare for

Make the situation specific. Is it asking a question, showing unfinished work, applying for something or having an honest conversation? What outcome are you imagining, and what do you actually know about it?

Once you can name the situation, choose a version of the step you can prepare for. Rehearse the conversation, explain your idea to one person or find out what the application requires. Preparation is part of taking the challenge seriously.

Learn from the attempt

Afterwards, compare what happened with what you expected. What was uncomfortable? What turned out differently? Is there something you want to practise before trying again?

You do not have to turn one attempt into a test of your entire character. In the post, growth is the reason for moving beyond the familiar. Keep the next step connected to something you actually value, so the discomfort has a purpose beyond proving that you can endure it.

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