In my July 2024 post about dua.com, I wrote: “People can date anyone they want – based on their personal preferences.” In the same caption, I stated that we were against racism and discrimination. Both statements belong together.
The post explained the choice of an ethnic-background filter or no such filter. That was the product context at the time, not a guide to today’s settings. The lasting question is how to express a preference without putting other people down.
Describe the relationship you want
A preference becomes more useful when you can say what it means in everyday life. Do you want to speak a shared language at home? Are certain traditions important to you? What do you expect from family life?
For example, “I would like to speak Albanian with my partner” describes something a person hopes to share. “People from other backgrounds are worth less” judges people’s value. These are illustrative examples, not messages from actual users.
A shared background also leaves questions unanswered. You still need to learn what the person in front of you believes, wants and chooses. A label cannot have that conversation for you.
Freedom of choice includes the other person
My original post described choice as empowering people to date whom they prefer. That freedom has to include someone else’s decision not to date you. Having a preference gives neither person a claim over the other.
The current dua.com community guidelines prohibit racism, harassment and content that degrades protected groups, and require respect for personal boundaries.
Before writing a profile, try one concrete question: am I describing what I hope to build with someone, or making a statement against people I do not know? The first gives a potential partner something real to respond to.
My original post is the source of the position discussed here.