Personal growth

How to ask me a clear question

Valon Asani · · 2 min read

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Original video. The written article below is available in English, Albanian and German.

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If you want to ask me something, start with two things: what is the problem, and what would you like help thinking through? That is the request I make in this TikTok caption. A long message can contain a lot of pain and still leave the actual question unclear.

I also explain a boundary in the post: I do not give personal advice in private chat. I discuss selected questions through anonymous videos so the response can be useful to others. Sending a question does not guarantee a reply or a video.

Give enough context to understand the question

Try a short structure: what happened, what you have already tried and what you are trying to decide. You do not need to tell your whole life story to make one situation understandable. If several questions are mixed together, choose the one that matters most right now.

For example: “A friend keeps cancelling plans at the last minute. I have raised it once. How can I say what I need without turning the conversation into a fight?” That is an illustrative question, not a message from a follower.

Keep private details out of a public conversation

Avoid names, phone numbers, workplaces and other details that could identify you or someone else. Do not send private screenshots as a substitute for describing the situation. Even without a name, a very specific story can reveal who it concerns.

Write as clearly as you can. The point is to make your meaning easier to understand, not to demand perfect language. Think of the question as an invitation to examine one issue together. A public reflection can offer a perspective; it cannot know everything about your life or make your decision for you.

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